If I Absolutely Had to Wear a New Shirt…

As an ambassador of vintage t-shirts I always represent in one. What if, by some strange circumstance, the fate of the world relied on me wearing a brand new tee? This section is dedicated to the ones I would put on to save our planet. You’re welcome.

This bar fight t-shirt by the Ames Bros is a knock-out design. It’s one of those images you can look at time and time again and discover something new. Like that one guy totally getting kneed in the nards. Take my word for it, save yourself the agony.

The 10 Rules of a Bar Fight

1. Country Music is usually playing in the background, which is probably why people are so agitated in the first place.

2. They almost always start during a card game when one player discovers another is cheating. Subsection a) card is usually found up a player’s sleeve.

3. Vintage pearl snap western shirts are preferred by bar fighters.

4. After the first punch is thrown everyone spontaneously begins fighting. Even people who were seemingly best friends prior and don’t even know why it started. The only exception to this rule is the bartender.

5. Someone is always thrown on top of the bar and is then slid down length of it until they smash in to a display of liquor bottles and/or glassware.

6. Someone’s head always goes through the jukebox, the record skips, and another one starts playing.

7. If it’s a pre-jukebox bar fight then there’s always a piano player. He continues to play during the fight, until such time as someone is thrown across his keys.

8. A half empty bottle, most likely whiskey, is always shattered over someone’s head.

9. A table will always collapse when two wrestling fighters fall on it. A wooden chair or a pool cue will always break when smashed across someone’s back.

10. Patrick Swayze is the king of all bar fighters.