What Dat Is?

In this section I highlight the worst vintage t-shirts ever created. No, I don’t mean bad in the 1980s Michael Jackson way either, I mean offensive, vile, in poor taste, politically incorrect, or just plain ugly.

T-Shirt: B-Rock & The Bizz “My Baby Daddy”

Type: Band

Offense: An ugly design only a mother could love.

Uses: Attire for a Maury Povich paternity episode.

At only 12 years of age this shirt doesn’t qualify under our definition of vintage. However, its crimes against the t-shirt and music community are so horrific it qualifies as a young offender and we want to make an example out of it.

I love one-hit-wonders because 9 times out of 10 they are decent tunes on some level. Meet #10 – the song that should never have been a hit in the first place: My Baby Daddy by B-Rock & The Bizz. In 1998 this tune was evicted from the darkest recesses of my mind by the Venga Boys when they formally announced that they liked to party. I welcomed the Boys with open arms because it’s a scientific fact that there can only be one annoying song that plays on repeat in your subconscious. They have since overstayed their welcome.

My Baby Daddy features the most annoying voice ever recorded for the purpose of music, “that’s just my baby daddy” which is a response to the nonsensical question, “who dat is?” both are repeated over and over until the song is finally over, thank god. If this isn’t ringing any bells, we highly suggest you keep it that way. But if you’re really curious and have considered having a frontal lobotomy anyway, then here’s the video.

Aside from glorifying a bad song – the biggest strike against this shirt is the gaudy full-coverage-photo-collage style that so many mid ’90s R&B/hip hop shirts were designed in. A dark era of t-shirt design that was thankfully short-lived.

The more I rake it over the coals the more I realize this shirt deserves to be adopted by a responsible parent who wears it for the right reasons. Buy low, stash it away and three years from now you’ll be happy you did. If you’ve got the patience, shirtswithballs is accepting applicants.

• Check out the previous worst tee: vintage marky mark t-shirt.