Seller justiceforyall is singing this shirt’s praises as the best New Lows shirt there ever was. As the artist of a large chunk of the band’s t-shirt catalog, including this one, I don’t think I can agree with that. My preference was always for the Shining design, or the Minor Threat “Bottled Violence” rip off, which you pretty much never see. Not that I don’t like this one, mind you…

A question I have actually been often asked: who is this guy on the front of the shirt, and what does he have to do with a hatchet in your head?

Meet Alfred Packer.

What does he have to do with a hatchet in your head? Well, in 1873, ol’ Alferd, as he was affectionately known, was the guide for a relatively notorious expedition into the Rocky Mountains, an expedition that ended with the 5 members of the party who proceeded on with Packer when the going got too rough dead and cannibalized. According to his story, the entire party turned on each other when they ran out of food (conveniently killing each other when ever Packer wasn’t there), and in the end he was forced to kill the other remaining member when he attacked him with a hatchet. He then packed up the remaining meat and continued to eat it until he was found by another party. In his own words:

When I came back to camp after being gone nearly all day I found the redheaded man [Bell] who acted crazy in the morning sitting near the fire roasting a piece of meat which he had cut out of the leg of the german butcher [Miller] the latters body was lying the furthest off from the fire down the stream, his skull was crushed in with the hatchet. The other three men were lying near the fire, they were cut in the forehead with the hatchet some had two some three cuts – I came within a rod of the fire, when the man saw me, he got up with his hatchet towards me when I shot him sideways through the belly, he fell on his face, the hatchet fell forwards. I grabbed it and hit him in the top of the head… I tried to get away every day but could not so I lived off the flesh of these men, the bigger part of the 60 days I was out… I cooked some of the flesh and carried it with me for food. I carried one blanket. There was seventy dollars amongst the men I fetched it out with me and one gun. The redheaded man had a 50 Dollar Bill in his pocket all the others together had only 20 Dollars. I had 20 Dollars myself. If there was any more money in the outfit, I did not know of it and it remains there. At the last camp just before I reached the Agency I ate my last pieces of meat.

There you have it. Hatchet in your head.

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